I’m feeling extremely anxious and antsy. I feel like I should be doing something, but there’s nothing that needs doing. There’s this weird ominous cloud hanging over me I guess. And it’s vague and there without any apparent reason, just kind of floating around, making me feel shitty. I don’t know how to describe this emotion. It’s not quite sadness, because I don’t think I’m sad. But I’m not happy. It’s like, my brain is arguing with itself. It’ll be like, “Fuck, time to do this and this and this and we have to worry about this happening or that happening, and what if that happened, and oh no, look at that, uh oh everything is falling apart and we should be freaking out right now!” and then answer itself with, “No it’s okay, we’re cool, there’s nothing to be worrying about, nothing bad is happening, chill out, you freaking out is making me freak out.”

Oh goodness, I think when it comes to the point where I’m typing out inner dialogues my head is having with itself, it’s time to stop writing.